The Lord spoke to Kaka

On the third day, the Lord spoke to Kaka. He saw his child was troubled, there had been much wailing and gnashing of teeth. He asked his son what it was that tormented him so.

Kaka explained his predicament, how he knew the difficulty of the rich man gaining access to heaven. How he feared that taking such a sum of money would constitute a sin. How he was unhappy to turn his back on his long-time friends.

The Lord considered all of this. He spent 40 days and 40 nights in the desert before returning to his troubled child. He handed him a tablet of stone with a simple message of what he had to do.

"Manchester City," it said. "Thou art having a laugh..."

Midwinter madness

It used to be the summer that was filled with these crazy transfers stories but now we get them in the middle of winter too. God bless the January transfer window for the following...

Kaka to Manchester City - For all that is good in the game, and even what is not, don't let this happen. I know money talks, but surely not that loudly. This is Milan, glorious, legendary Milan. And they are Manchester City.

Kris Boyd to Lazio - This must be made up. Unless they are looking for something less mobile than the Colosseum in Rome.

Ah, the joys...

Beckham watch - Part One

I have never been a big Becks fan but he did a bit of work to address that issue last night. I thought he played a decent game for Milan against Roma. And, more to the point, he lasted 88 minutes (more than Ronaldinho).

There was nothing flashy about what he did and he showed his usual limits but, just the same, he did not look out of place. He put in some good crosses - as you would expect - and also showed some good positional sense.

Yes, he was outshone by Pato's wondergoal - but who would not have been? I am still dubious about his value to Milan but, on this game anyway, he was not the waste of space some might have suspected...

Italy v England - Part I

I have a feeling I may write about this a few times but, just the same, for an Italian Scot the Champions League draw was mind blowing. I knew there was a good chance of Serie A going head to head with the Premiership in at least a couple of ties. But all three? It is a truly awesome prospect.

Certainly, it will answer a lot of questions. Last season there was plenty of crowing about how well the English performed - justifiably so. However, now our boys have a chance to hit back in style. A 3-0 triumph would be too much to hope for, would it?

The pick of the ties is Inter v Man Utd. Italy's undisputed best team for the last few years against Europe's reigning champions. At least the Nerazzurri have Mourinho's supposed hoodoo over Sir Alex on their side. However, having watching Inter in action against Siena, I struggle to hold out that much hope. Still, if anyone from Italy was going to knock out Ronaldo and company it would surely be the Special Uan...

There is plenty of intrigue to the Juve v Chelsea clash. Of course, Claudio Ranieri goes back to the club that ditched him because he could not win enough. How sweet it would be if he could rub their noses in it? I don't know if the Bianconeri are ready for the challenge but they showed against Real they are no pushovers.

Finally, Roma take on Arsenal in a match it is hard to know what to expect from. Which team will show up for either side. In their pomp both teams are irresistible. Unfortunately, they don't always turn up in the best fettle. I liked the fact that the pundits seemed to think Roma were the easiest of the Italian sides to draw. That can only play in their favour.

Forza Serie A!

Who is around the corner?

All eyes will be on the urns on Friday as our brave Italian sides look to make progress in Europe. The question is, who would be the best teams for them to land. Here I make my usual pathetic attempt to forecast what will happen.

There has to be a good chance that Inter go English. Either that or they might land Barcelona, Bayern Munich or Porto. My natural inclination would be that the Portuguese would be the best draw. However, a shot at Man Utd or Liverpool might do them good.

On paper, Roma and Juve should have a better chance of an easier draw thanks to winning their groups. The fates have thrown the Giallorossi and Real Madrid together plenty of times in the past but they would probably like to dodge them this time - along with Lyon. Villareal, Atletico and Sporting Lisbon look more tasty or even Arsenal. And how about Juve v Chelsea to cap it all off.

Who knows? Friday will have the answers...

Big week in store

Roma, don't mess it up now. The hard work has been done, a glorious victory over Chelsea secured and a revenge mission completed against Cluj. Please, get the point you deserve and need against Bordeaux.

Inter and Juve, don't do it Italian style. Win your last group games to proudly enter the later stages of the Champions League rather than going in with a whimper. I know you don't need a victory or even a point but, just the same, give us something to cheer. (Inter, you owe us on that score. Juve, no pressure, you did great deeds against Real).

And finally Fiorentina, my little Fiorentina. You may be out of the CL but how about setting the record straight in the UEFA Cup? Last season's elimination to Rangers still sticks in the craw. It might be a meagre consolation but make sure you don't mess it up against Steaua...

Pretty, precise and pointless

I like to think I am more open minded than some of my more extremist relations. My first love will always be Italian football but I am willing to look at other options. So, when people keep raving about Arsene Wenger's baby Gunners, it is only natural that I would have a look.

Unfortunately for them (or for me), I picked the night they walked into a brick wall in the form of Burnley. Adolescent Arsenal started the game full of hormonal vigour but when they got clean through on the keeper a major problem emerged. They couldn't actually stick the ball in the net.

Credit the home goalkeeper, a man who looks like he swallowed Angelo Peruzzi whole. He made some fine saves but some of the shooting was fairly feeble. Having missed their opportunities, the boys from the Emirates were made to pay.

I read somewhere recently (I think Champions magazine) that this team will win the Champions League by 2016 (that's Arsenal, not Burnley). But on this evidence I have my doubts. It looked like the youngsters lost heart and were often out-muscled by solid, hard-working professionals. It all sounds reminiscent of Emmanuel Adebayor's recent admission that the team couldn't be arsed against lower level opposition (I paraphrase slightly).

That, it seems to me, is Arsenal's biggest problem. They seem to believe that teams should lie down before their beautiful football - but they don't. Instead, they fight them by every means possible. Maybe this new generation will have the toughness for the battle but, from what they showed on Tuesday, it was far from evident.

Anyway, enough of this English stuff. I feel like Udinese tonight! Udinese tonight!

Waking the dead

Why did it take three goals conceded to wake Milan from their slumber on Sunday night? The Rossoneri were bossed out of the game for most of the match at Palermo. They only started to push their pink opponents back when the fixture was way beyond them. Don't they realise there is a Scudetto there to be won?

It was so lacklustre from Carlo Ancelotti's men without Kaka. Clarence Seedorf tried his best but they were crushed by the best Palermo performance of the season. Fabrizio Miccoli sparkled, Fabio Liverani pulled the strings and big Mo Carrozzieri looked unbeatable at the back. Not to mention some brilliant saves by Marco Amelia. Hats off to Palermo for a great display but, really, was this the best Milan could muster?

Elsewhere, Inter continue to win without really putting their stamp on the championship. They are now six points clear but have yet to look totally convincing. They were too strong for Juve but then they lost at home to Panathinaikos. It is starting to appear the old conundrums of the Mancini days have not been resolved by Mourinho.

Finally, Roma's revival continued thanks to an impressive second half against Fiorentina. I thought my boys were going to do something after a decent first 45 minutes but they fell back as the game went on. There are still too many elementary mistakes from the Viola to become real title contenders. The Giallorossi, on the other hand, look like they could be set for one of their famous winning streaks. However, they must have let the leaders get too big a gap already.

Feel my pain

Fiorentina tumbled out of the Champions League - not through lack of effort but rather through lack of clinical finishing in front of goal. They lost at home to Lyon in a game which underlined their main failing in Europe - not turning their chances into goals.

It was a good game and the French were a good team but I felt the Viola were worth at least a draw. The trouble is they shunned opportunities with too much regularity. Zdravko Kuzmanovic, in particular, hit one shot nearer to the corner flag than the goal when put clean through.

It is a skill which Fiorentina have lacked all season. They can put the opposition under pressure for long spells but (apart from the second half against Udinese) fail to turn it into goals. Against a sharp finishing side like Lyon it was always going to spell trouble.

So, there is only the UEFA left to play for. It seems a little hollow. However, until we get more experienced and battle-hardened in the Champs League it is probably about our level. Unless we lose to Bucharest, of course, in which case there is nothing...

Juve - the Real deal?

It is never easy for those of a purple persuasion to write about Juventus without bias. The old enemy has caused us so much hurt over the years that it is impossible to put to one side. Any sort of dispassionate analysis becomes difficult.

However, I think it is fair to ask the question - having come through their mini-crisis - just how good are the Bianconeri? Their fans have lurched from despair to downright delirium in the past few weeks. Back to back wins over Real Madrid and a massive league recovery have put some of the old swagger into their stride. Heck, they're nearly as loathsome as they used to be.

It is hard, of course, to dislike Claudio Ranieri. He is such an amiable chap that it is impossible to grudge him his success. His critics brand him too nice to succeed. That may be true. At the moment, however, he is doing a pretty good job with a team which - I would argue - is not really all that good.

Yes, Del Piero has found pinpoint precision with his free-kicks. Yes, Pavel Nedved is up for the fight - when was he ever found wanting in that regard? And, yes, big Amauri has proved an astute signing. But what about the likes of Molinaro, De Ceglie, Chiellini, Marchionni, Sissoko and the rest? Don't try to tell me they are world class.

Still, the proof of the pudding is out on the field of play. For all my reticence, Juve are going great guns. If they beat Genoa on Thursday night they could pull level with Inter. Then, no matter how much I might dislike it, the Hunchbacks will be back on top of the belltower where they feel they rightly belong.

Grazie Roma Part 2

We take our pleasure in small victories these days. Italian football has become like the annoying yappy little dog at the heels of the English Super Debt League. We know that the war will be lost, but there is still the odd glorious battle. Like last night in the Stadio Olimpico.

Despite the global millions poured into the game maybe some national characteristics do hold true. Roma were written off, derided and on the ropes. Then they produced their best performance of the season. Remind anyone of Italy 1982 or 2006?

That they defeated Chelsea was truly sweet. That it was Christian Panucci - old "Mad Dog" himself - that scored the opening goal was joyous. That Francesco Totti gritted his teeth to captain the side was admirable. That Mirko Vucinic skipped away from Jon Obi Mikel was a delight.

So many Giallorossi revived their reputations it would be impossible to mention them all. But I thought Matteo Brighi had one of his best ever games for the club. And even the sometimes annoying David Pizarro was in fine form. A night to remember.

Of course, let's not get too carried away by one win. The collective spending power of the We Owe Billions League is unlikely to be defeated in the long-term. However, that doesn't mean we should not savour these tasty little treats every time they come along.

Let's go against Montenegro!

These are the unglamorous games that make a World Cup qualification campaign. Home to Montenegro in October is a far from attractive fixture. Three points, however, would be a major step on the road to defending our title.

The opposition are not without their stars. Young Stevan Jovetic of Fiorentina and Roma's Mirko Vucinic are familiar enough faces to Serie A fans. Vucinic in particular will be well known down Lecce way having played there for a while. Italy's record against sides from the former Yugoslavia is also a cause for concern.

Lippi has turned to his "quality" men - Alberto Aquilani and Toto Di Natale - to unlock the visitors' defence. Certainly the Azzurri looked more solid against Bulgaria than they have recently. The time has come, however, for a bit of a show of force and a really convincing victory.

Let's hope, also, that the fans behave themselves. I am getting tired of the reputation Italian supporters are getting around the world. It looks like some eejits have stuffed up my plans to travel to Ireland next year and watch Trap O'Toni's boys take on the Azzurri. We shall see...

Tutti per Stefano

There are some times when I curse being trapped in Scotland and not in Tuscany. In fact, that is most of the time. However, the feeling will be particularly acute on Wednesday evening.

Fiorentina's Stadio Artemio Franchi is the venue for a tribute match for former Viola striker Stefano Borgonovo now afflicted by Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis - also known as Lou Gehrig's disease after the famous baseballer struck by it in the 1930s. He played more than 2,000 consecutive games and was nicknamed "Iron Horse" due to his legendary stamina. He died aged just 41.

ALS seems to disproportionately affect sportsmen - footballers in particular. One recent victim in Serie A was former Genoa defender Gianluca Signorini. Now it has Borgonovo in its grips.

The picture above is of happier times when Baggio and Borgonovo (a duo known simply as BB) were one of the top strike forces in Italy. I wish I could be in Florence tomorrow night, it is bound to be an emotionally-charged evening. Next best is watching it on television and raising a glass to a great footballer and a brave man.

Derby delights

Every neutral and every Milanista will have been delighted to see the Rossoneri edge the derby on Sunday night. It means this Serie A battle remains one of the most open-looking for some time.

I felt it was just reward for the attacking intentions Milan posted by fielding Kaka, Pato and Ronaldinho together. Two of them combined for the game's only goal. It seemed to me Inter were happy to sit back, channel men behind the ball and play on the break. When the game required them to do anything different they could not.

I must admit, I had not expected such a strong start from Lazio or such a bad one for my tip to be a surprise - Bologna. The Laziali have two pacy front men who combine wonderfully well. I suspect the wheels will come off in the long term but probably not this weekend against Lecce. Bologna were a bit unlucky against Napoli but they don't look like much of a side.

Right, Champions League awaits. Forza Gila ancora!

Rossoneri roar back

Milan desperately needed a show of strength against high-flying Lazio on Sunday night and boy did they get one. A 4-1 trouncing with some classy goals along the way was just what Berlusconi ordered. There were still some worries at the back but at least the attacking options appeared to have been sorted.

Marco Borriello gives them a new option up front, Kaka's goal was pure quality and little Pato found the net which will boost his confidence. Zambrotta scored an absolute screamer but still not convinced about Ronaldinho. He seems to have turned up for some kind of samba holiday. He must have tried that daft pass where he looks one way and hits the ball the other about 12 times in five minutes.

Elsewhere, Roma bounced back with a win, Juve and Inter kept up their good form and Fiorentina got three vital points against Bologna. It was that man Gilardino again. How he has been reborn since his move away from Milan.

A curse upon the French!

The Viola stood on the brink of one of their greatest European results last night before the nasty football fates intervened. Well, the referee anyway.

With Luciano Zauri lying pole-axed on the floor in the penalty box after a head knock the ref failed to stop play. Then Lyon showed a distinct lack of sportsmanship by continuing to play themselves. It was child's play to roll the ball into the net with Zauri effectively playing everybody on side while clutching his head.

Yes, the Viola were naive. Yes, they should have played the whistle. Yes, they should not have tried to play the offside trap.

Just the same it left a bitter taste. Eventually Lyon equalised from being 2-0 down (from a dubious free-kick) and a draw in France ended up feeling disappointing when it should have been a good result. When my rage dies down I may realise that. In the meantime, I am furious.

A curse on Napoli

Got back to watching the Viola today after a two week break and it was the same old torture. We huffed and puffed and went ahead with a clinical Adrian Mutu finish. Only then we got caught twice and lost the game. All three points stayed in the San Paolo with Napoli.

It was a hard one to take because, I felt, we did all the attacking. The home side were happy to sit back and punch us on the break which, to be fair, they did brilliantly. Little Lavezzi was a niggling nuisance every time he got the ball.

There is a lesson there, however. Fiorentina need to get a cutting edge and quickly. It is no use bossing a game if you can't kill the opposition off. I thought that lesson should have been learned against Rangers last year. Also, we need to know how to tighten things up once we have taken a lead.

Still, it could be worse, I guess. I could be a Milan fan. They have started off dreadfully. And Roma have not done much better. Although I think the number of absentees against Palermo was a partial excuse for their failure. However, it all confirms this could really be a wide open championship race.

Come on you Martelli?

It would appear that a corner of London is talking Italian. With Slaven Bilic out the way the top contenders for the vacant West Ham job all appear to be very familiar names to followers of Serie A. As Kevin Keegan might have said after Alex Ferguson wound him up, I would "love it" if one of them was to get the post.

Bobby Mancini was a front-runner but appears to have ruled himself out. That makes way for our recently deposed CT, Roberto Donadoni. The final contender - perhaps the most intriguing appointment since he was a Chelsea legend - is Gianfranco Zola. Any one of them would make for interesting times.

The reason I would like to see one of them appointed is simple. I would actually start to care a bit about the Premiership. I kind of keep an eye on Andrea Dossena at Liverpool (sorry Trent), and I have my fantasy football side to watch out for but a manager could take things to a whole new level. They almost always bring in their own favourites which could mean an influx of Italians at Upton Park. The Claret and Azzurri could quickly become my side in England.

So, all together now, "io sto sempre soffiando bollicine, belle bollicine nell'aria..."

All five flop

It's a rare weekend in Serie A when the five would-be title contenders fail to win. Nonetheless, that is what happened on opening weekend. It could bode well for the competitive level of the year ahead.

Inter were foiled by Sampdoria and held to a draw, Roma did the same against Napoli (with some more nasty fan trouble, tsk, tsk) and Juve and Fiorentina also shared the spoils. Worst of all were Milan who lost at home to my tip to surprise Bologna.

I think the Rossoneri have a lot to sort out after performing open-heart surgery in the summer. Inter are not as far ahead of the pack as they think while Juve and the Viola were probably worth a point each (although I thought Fiorentina did most of the attacking). I didn't see much of Roma but think they have to be disappointed with not getting an opening day win.

It means Torino, Lazio, Udinese and the likes are sitting pretty at present. They get to enjoy it for at least a couple of weeks, too, as the Nazionale takes centre stage.

Good draw, bad draw?

Italy's four troops for the Champions League battle found out their group enemies yesterday. My first reaction was that they all landed pretty favourable sections. None of them will have it easy but, equally, none of them face an impossible task.

Inter, as top seeds, got the best of it, I reckon. Bremen, Panathinaikos and Anorthosis should hardly have Jose Mourinho quaking. As always, if the Nerazzurri don't progress, they only have themselves to blame. Prospects of progress: 90%

It fell to Roma to land Johnny English in the form of Chelsea. They were the Premiership side I would have preferred to avoid. I reckon Liverpool or Arsenal would have been an easier task. Still, the other group members - Bordeaux and Cluj (queue a lot of toilet jokes from the Scottish speakers out there) - are not unbeatable. Prospects of progress: 70%.

Juventus landed a more sticky looking section. Real Madrid and last season's revelation Zenit make tough contenders. I reckon the Russians were a third seed nobody wanted. Still, there was the consolation of BATE Borisov or whatever they are called as bottom dogs. The Bianconeri should still have what it takes to get through. Prospects of progress: 60%.

As a fourth seed, Fiorentina were always likely to land the toughest group but it did not go as badly as it might have. Lyon, Bayern Munich and Steaua Bucharest is not easy but not entirely out of reach. It also throws up the delightful prospect of Luca Toni coming back to Florence. All in all a real test of how the Viola are developing as a team. Prospects of progress: 35%.