Brescia beats Govan

I love these lifestyle choice stories. I am sure I remember one when Florin Raducioiu (or however you spell it) was torn between somewhere grim in the UK and Espanol. It was his wife, I think, who said don't be so bloomin' stupid - we're off to Barcelona you eejit!

So, Andrea Caracciolo snubbed the Glasgow Rangers to go to Brescia. He even went down a division rather than head to Ibrox. Admirable? Foolish? Understandable?

In Glasgow he would surely have got plenty of goals. He would also have got a team virtually guaranteed Champions League football every year. He would have got to share a curry with Barry Ferguson.

Instead, he went back to the team where he first made his reputation. There he gets a side struggling to get back to Serie A but he will get pasta like his mamma used to make every day.

Now, which one would you have chosen?

Dance in your pants!

It was one of those special Sundays that, I like to think, only Italy can provide. Two great names of Italian football - Napoli and Genoa - won promotion back to Serie A. It was the manner in which they did so that was so typical of the country.

Under the mildly bizarre rules of Serie B this season Napoli knew they were promoted with either a win or a draw. Genoa, however, playing at home in front of a packed Marassi knew they needed to win or hope that Piacenza failed to do so. Only if both sides finished ten points clear of the fourth place team would there be no need for a play-off game. So far, so complicated.

The news which Genoa dreaded eventually came through, however. Piacenza were a goal to the good while the Genoa-Napoli game remained locked at 0-0. It was when Triestina grabbed an equaliser at Piacenza that the typically Italian funny business started. First of all, it looked to all the world like two players on opposite sides - Sosa of Napoli and Galeoto of Genoa - hugged one another when they heard the score. Then all the players seemed more intent on listening out for the result from Piacenza than affecting their own score. The final whistle eventually confirmed the score from the Garilli, meaning both Genoa and Napoli were promoted. The pitch was invaded, the players hurled their shirts and shorts into the crowd. It was festa all round.

"Excuse me," pointed out the referee at this stage. "The game's not actually finished here!"

So it was back into the dressing rooms to try to retrieve some strips, the stewards ushered the fans off the pitch and a couple of minutes of the most meaningless football ever were played out before the party could begin. Only in Italy, I believe, only in Italy....

Tinkerman, stinkerman...

It would appear that one of football's most likeable fellows has turned to the dark side. The amiable, almost loveable, Claudio Ranieri is to be manager of Juventus. The question is, how are we going to manage to hate him?

Throughout his time at Fiorentina, Chelsea, Parma and the rest he remained one of the nicest chaps in the game. He was eloquent, self-deprecating and humourous. In short, everything you would not expect of a Bianconero.

The question has to be asked, have the Juventini turned over a new leaf? Or will they convert him to their ways? Will we soon find a new curt, arrogant and short-tempered Claudio? Surely not. Nonetheless, it is an interesting clash of cultures as the "Stile Juve" goes up against the Tinkerman. Who will come out on top?

I'm not going to mention the Faroe Islands.

Grazie Mantova!

You know those things that you don't experience for a long time and wonder if they will still feel the same when you do? Those matters that give you great pleasure and are all the sweeter because they don't happen all that often? Well, the weekend furnished me with one of those - Juve got beat by Mantova (what did you think I was talking about?).

I had pondered whether relegation to Serie B might make the Bianconeri more endearing. Their humbling during Calciopoli might have made them less dislikeable. Indeed, their new faith in young Italian players could even have prompted me to consider them a role model for other sides. But, instead, no. It felt great to watch them lose.

No doubt they will still get promoted but it's just nice to see them taken down a peg or two. At the winter break the papers were all full of "Who will Juve sign WHEN they return to Serie A?" stories. Now, if there is one thing Serie B does not like it is arrogance from big teams. So it was fitting that little Mantova kicked the Bianconeri in the balls. They bounced back, of course, against Cesena. But still, it was fun to see them get beat again.