Friday, May 26, 2006

Don't mention the WaR...

With the World Cup fast approaching, expecting a flurry of blogging in the days ahead but, we promise you we won't be mentioning that chubby cheeked Man Utd striker with the dodgy foot. As the perfect antedote to wall-to-wall metatarsal discussions you will find no mention of him here. Guaranteed. Indeed, the only Rooney we recognise is Mickey the star of so many legendary musicals.

Instead, here's your guide to the top ten scapegoats for England's World Cup exit. Following in the footsteps of Peter Bonetti, Chris Waddle, David Beckham etc there has never been a tourney they have gone out of that there hasn't been somebody to blame. Otherwise, of course, they would have been world and European champions countless times. The top ten scapegoats we forecast for the summer are:

1) Sir Alex Ferguson.
2) Sven Goran Eriksson.
3) Peter Crouch.
4) Peter Crouch.
5) Peter Crouch.
6) The star player caught drinking dodgy German beer out of a brassiere.
7) Posh Spice.
8) The damaging reperations exacted on Germany at the Treaty of Versailles.
9) Asylum seekers.
10) Somebody Argentinian.

4 comments:

martinobhoy said...

You forgot their goalkeeper. Always a favourite to blame.

Then there's the referees or linesman. The irony, of course, is lost on them that they won the World Cup thanks to one of the worst decisions of all time by a linesman.

Spangly Princess said...

hehe I love england fans me. a chap I know spent a long time explaining to a bunch of french guys that they'd only won in '98 because of home advantage and that it consequently meant nothing. unlike, er, england's famous victory in, er, hang on a minute...

a.c.t said...

The tall gangly man weren't half bad last night though - they looked surprisingly quite good even sans Rooney.

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