Friday, December 29, 2006

A festive quiz

How Calcio are you? In the spirit of those Christmas and New Year filler stories in the newspapers, here is my effort. Answer honestly please to discover just how Italian your approach to football is.

1) Your team is back in Europe after 20 years away. Do you:
a) Go to the ground two hours early to soak up the atmosphere?
b) Proudly prepare a "Siamo Tornati" banner?
c) Throw a firework on the pitch and get your ground banned for three matches?

2) Your side, aiming for a UEFA season, is in relegation trouble. Do you:
a) Start travelling to away games to give them the vital support they need?
b) Give them early vocal backing but jeer when they fall three goals behind again?
c) Organise a fans strike which leaves the stadium empty for half the match?

3) A star player for your bitter rivals loses a leg in a serious car crash. Do you:
a) Make a donation to his support fund in appreciation of his skills which rose above petty rivalry?
b) Wish the next derby game was next week?
c) Buy a "You Must Be Hopping Mad" flag?

4) Managing your favourites you find yourselves trailing 4-0 with a man sent off and 40 minutes to play. Do you:
a) Throw on another striker, might as well lose 8-0?
b) Shore up the midfield but keep one pacy front man in the hope of getting something?
c) Get as many defenders on as you can to limit the damage?

5) Installed as president you see your team flying high in an unexpected Champions League spot. Do you?
a) Put a little extra in the January transfer pot to help your manager build on his success?
b) Savour the moment as you know it will pass?
c) Sack the manager after he fails to beat Inter in the San Siro and put all your best players on the transfer list?

6) Working as a touchline reporter you watch the national team record a convincing 3-0 win over Brazil. Do you:
a) Congratulate the coach on his great achievement?
b) Ask the manager if he thought his team was capable of such a result?
c) Ask him why he didn't pick Totti?

7) Your team loses the derby 3-0. Do you:
a) Weep constantly for a month?
b) Curse your players for letting you down?
c) Blame it on the referee's decision not to give you a dodgy penalty in the 89th minute?

8) Jumping for a ball in midfield an opponent accidentally brushes your face with his pinky. Do you:
a) Play on, it never hurt a bit?
b) Flinch and warn him to watch his hands?
c) Fall to the ground writhing in agony, clutching your face and screaming in pain?

9) What is your favourite football food?
a) Pie and bovril?
b) Panino con prosciutto?
c) Pasta, steak, bottle of wine, coffee and grappa during three-hour post-match analysis?

10) Playing at a small provincial team you are at the centre of a bidding war from a number of big sides - including the one you have supported all your life. Do you:
a) Join your favourites, it's a dream come true?
b) Weigh up the financial and emotional advantages of each offer?
c) Sign for Inter, get a whopping signing-on fee and the Scudetto on a plate?

What your answers say about you...
Mostly A - Ma sei proprio inglese! You have a lot to learn about the levels of cynicism, pettiness and stupidity needed to follow Serie A.
Mostly B - Mica male. You are quite a balanced individual who loves their sport but not to excess.
Mostly C - Benvenuto al calcio! You are totally bonkers and would happily watch 38 replays from different angles of a controversial penalty decision in order to discuss the incident for another three hours. Welcome to the club.


* (asterisk) said...

Io sono inglese italianato, pero' non sono molto "calcio".

I like the World Cup and the Euro thingy, but I don't "support" a team in either country, making it hard to partake of your quiz. Sorry...

Anonymous said...

Giancarlo, couldn't find anywhere else to post this...
I just read your article in November's Calcio Italia magazine about the 82 world cup team. It was a great read, especially for me being of the next generation and an Italian-Australian in Australia.
For me it was watching Italia 90 and those notti magiche when I was 10 years old that awoke me to the magic of my cherished Azzurri, I was captivated by players such as Baggio, Giannini (who is the reason I support Roma) and Schillaci. The heartbreak of the 90s world cup exits (1990 hurt the most as it was the first world cup I watched and it was in Italy and we were the best team) was washed away this year when I was in Germany to see 4 Azzurri matches and I was at the final, about 50 metres away from the goal of the shootout (row 7 in line with the goal). Like you in 82, I cried, and I cried hard, when Grosso put away the winner. It was relief, satisfaction, pride, anger at those whistling Germans in the Olympiastadion, just a release of tension and total happiness. To top off my experience I met Toto Schillaci at the semi final in Dortmund, who was sitting about 7 rows behind me in the Italian section, I spoke to him and had a photo with him and it was an experience I will take to the grave.
Since I've been back home I've had to endure the cheating label that these Aussies keep putting on the Italy team because they don't know how to tackle and don't know how to lose, but I will always maintain it was a penalty and I will always stand up for my beloved Azzurri.
Campioni del Mondo... sometimes I still need to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming it!

Perth, Australia

ginkers said...


Don't worry about it, it's only for Italian football nuts.


Thanks for the post. Glad you enjoyed the article. Also glad to hear of an Italian-Aussie who supports the Azzurri - we're always told everyone in Australia supports their 'adopted' country.

I have just been watching that game again and the boys in blue were totally superior to Australia BEFORE the penalty was given. Everyone seems to forget that the game was at 0-0 and there was still extra time and penalties to go so there was no guarantee Australia would go through even if the penalty had not been given.

Keep the faith and keep supporting the old Italia!

Spangly Princess said...

1 a AND b AND who knows, maybe c as well...
2 b though maybe c if the circumstances demanded
3 a
4 a
5 b
6 c
7 that would never happen to my team. *lalalalalalala fingers in ears*
8 c
9 b cos I'm a match going type innit, though c when I'm watching at home on telly obviously.
10 c

um, is my step by step response excessive?


TrentGrifoni said...

...not so fast ! Many of those 'C's now apply to the EPL. A certain team named Chelsea spring to mind - I guess that can be credited to them having a significant Italian influence over the last several years :o)

Anyway, you led me by the hand through your quiz. I passed (?!) with flying colours.

p.s. I enjoyed last months Calcio Italia article.

Red said...

I got mostly Bs... just!

I would have hated reading about me: "Ma sei proprio inglese!" I know I have tried to be so very English for the last 20 years, but one also wants to retain some italianità. So it's good to know that for me the arbitro is still a cornuto, that penalty was definitely there and, of course, that brush with the pinky hurt like hell!

Happy 2007, Ginkers!

a.c.t. said...

I got mostly Bs I'm very proud to say. My favourite question (obviously) was question 9. You can't beat a Panino con prosciutto at a game. I was at The Arsenal last night and the food there is hideous. Can you believe they sell balti pies?

martinobhoy said...

Okay Ginkers here goes.

1. 20 years out of Europe. Not relevant but I'd go for B.

2. What's relegation?

3. I'd like to think A but I'll go for B.

4. B

5. A - please Mr Celtic Chairman!

6. C

7. A, B & C!

8. A

9. B now if only they would serve it at Celtic Park.

10. A

ginkers said...

An excellent response from everyone, take what you will from the results...

neilissimo said...

4.c. (im sunderland, im used too 4-0)
9.b although c appeals greatly.

Mostly B - Mica male. You are quite a balanced individual who loves their sport but not to excess.

I have a lot to learn but I recognise 'you must be hopping mad' to be one of the funniest things Ive heard this decade. 3 minutes solid-laughter.