Our silent Sunday

Well, it promised to be a strange weekend and so it turned out. Watching Fiorentina take on Udinese at a deserted Artemio Franchi had its usual surreal atmosphere. The game without fans is rubbish.

Not that I can complain about the result but, just the same, I think Roberto Mancini has a point. After his Inter side beat Chievo in front of no supporters he said it would be just as well to stop the championship now. It certainly seems a fundamental flaw to play some games in front of fans, some in front of season ticket holders and others in front of nobody at all.

Biggest shock of the weekend was probably Empoli's away win at Palermo. Maybe the Sicilians were still recovering from the terrible events of a fortnight ago. Just the same, their form has nose-dived and it gave the little Tuscans the fourth Champions League spot for the time being.

Who is the biggest?

I have been intrigued by the outrage sparked by Rafa Benitez's comments on the respective "size" of Liverpool and Everton. I suspect there has been a bit of media manipulation of the story but it got me thinking. How do you measure which is the "biggest" club? Is it support? Is it success? Is history more important than the present? Let's take Italy.

Juventus v Torino. You would say no doubt Juve is the bigger team on all counts. But, then again, they tell me that in Turin itself the Bianconeri are not the best supported side.

Milan v Inter. On domestic glory there is not much to choose between them but on the European front the Rossoneri are streets ahead. I think they also get a bigger average support so maybe the red and black half is bigger. Or is it?

Roma v Lazio. I'd be inclined to say Roma on all counts. They have won more in Italy although without a great deal of Euro glory. Also they have spent a lot less time in the lower divisions than their city rivals.

Sampdoria v Genoa. That one is a bit like past versus present. There is no doubt that the Doriani have been a major force in recent times but the Grifone is our oldest club and has many more honours in its locker. I'm inclined to give it to the Rossoblu.

Fiorentina v Anyone else in Tuscany. No brainer. Ale Viola.

Venezia v Vicenza. I don't really care I just put it in for Venezian and as an excuse for another favourite proverb. "Veneziani gran signori, padovani gran dottori, vicentini magnagatti, veronesi tutti matti". Venetians fine gentlemen, Paduans great doctors, Vicentini cat-eaters and Veronese all mad". Apparently Venezia gave cats to Vicenza to combat a problem with mice. The cats were never returned - prompting the "gran signori" to speculate on what happened to them. Apparently Vicentini themselves say "finché ghe xe gati se magna" - as long as there are cats we will eat!

Anyway, anyone think of any other interesting my club is bigger than yours comparisons?

Adesso basta!

Am I the only one getting a little bit tired of how Italian football is being portrayed at the moment in the British media? OK, there is a problem. No doubt the Catania v Palermo incidents were disgraceful and demand change. But you would be under the impression that to go to a Serie A game was to take your life in your hands.

I've been to plenty of matches and never felt the slightest bit of danger. I have never had a scooter land on my head, never been spat on or been struck by a projectile. Indeed, I have always enjoyed the atmosphere. Hopefully, that will continue in future.

I am not sticking my head in the sand and saying that we don't have a problem. We clearly do. But to portray the country as a den of violent disgrace goes too far in my opinion. It is not as if the UK is perfect.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/cardiff_city/6249261.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/fa_cup/6151618.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/s/swindon_town/6191189.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/6209342.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/5372228.stm

I know Italy has more serious issues. I am not trying to make light of them. But, please, spare us some of the sanctimonious coverage.

The Blackest Night

Catania v Palermo. It should have been a celebration of Sicilian football returned to the top level. Instead, it turned out to be one of the saddest nights I can remember for the Italian game. Injuries, arrests and a policeman killed. It makes me feel ill.

No games this weekend. Nazionale cancelled and Euro 2012 bid as good as destroyed. Will it never change? From Calciopoli to the Mondiale to this. The rollercoaster of loving the Italian game has hit one of its lowest points. I could write a lot more but, just now, I don't feel like it at all.

Sono senza parole, ragazzi, senza parole.

A strange kind of chart

We all like to get on our high horses about these ridiculous rankings that are produced from time to time in football so the latest one from soccer statisticians is bound to provoke debate. According to the IFFHS the greatest club team of all time is - wait for it - Barcelona.

To be fair, they have only taken into account 1991 to present day which explains a lot about the skew of the figures. Indeed, Parma (11th) rank ahead of Liverpool and Chelsea. Cool.

From their chart I have extracted the Italian standings for my own strange satisfaction. I have put in brackets their overall rating too.

1. Juventus (2).
2. Milan (3).
3. Inter (7).
4. Parma (11).
5. Lazio (18).
6. Roma (22).
7. Torino (33).
8. Sampdoria (56).
9. Bologna (71).
10. Genoa (77).
11. Fiorentina (81).
12. Palermo (87).

The biggest surprise to me is just how highly Torino got ranked. I remember them having one good season in Europe but a lot of time in Serie B during the period in question. It was also a bit of a shock to see Palermo pop in there on the strength of just a couple of seasons back in the top flight. My own Italian top ten - including all time history - would be more like this.

1. Juventus
2. Milan
3. Inter
4. Roma
5. Torino
6. Fiorentina
7. Lazio
8. Genoa
9. Bologna
10. Napoli

The first three are a no-brainer, I reckon. After that, it depends how much you rate old Scudetti against the new. I put Roma up high because of their outstanding record in staying in Serie A. The others, to be fair, you could swap around in any order. Certainly any top division needs all those teams in it. At the moment we are missing four of them which is another comment on how low the league has sunk.

Cuore Viola

It was one of the strangest games I have seen in my long years tracking Fiorentina but, in the end, the boys from Florence came away with three points. Prandelli's men must have had about 30 shots at goal but still found themselves 1-0 down thanks to the deadly Lucarelli of Livorno.

It looked like being one of those games as Adrian Mutu in particular saw his goal attempts thwarted or sail wide. Eventually it was that man Toni who got the Purples back on terms and good old Martin Jorgensen grabbed the win. It was all the more vital looking at the league table as it permitted the Florentine side to climb a couple of places in the table.

Elsewhere, a word of reproach for Gennaro Delvecchio of Samp. Idiot. He robbed us all of a good game as the Doria team and support looked up for the challenge against Inter until he stuck the head on Materazzi (it's becoming a theme!). Even so they put up a good fight but Mancini's men were just too powerful.

Finally, a word on the hilarious press conference Carlo Ancelotti held to defend His Royal Pieness, Ronaldo. He is not fat, apparently that is a myth. "He is an imposing figure, he is a robust player but he is not fat," insisted Carlo on a subject close to his heart. So, remember that the next time somebody calls you tubby after your eighth portion of pasta. "I am not greedy, I am just an imposing and robust eater..."

Bentornato Tubby

Well, the big deal of the January window has been clinched. Milan have beefed up their attack (gettit?) with the return of Ronaldo to Serie A. We remember him, of course, from his times as part of that legendary Inter team which won nothing at all of note. The last time he was in these parts he tumbled over Iuliano's legs in THAT game sparking a million years of recrimination. So it is impossible to ignore his arrival - this time on the red and black side of the city.

Some view it as more of a media move than anything else. It has given good profile to the Rossoneri, is one in the eye for their city rivals AND secures the barrel-shaped Brazilian access to his own image rights. So everybody's happy, right. Right?

There have got to be big question marks over his fitness for the rigours of Italian football. How will he recover from a battering from Fabio Galante? Will he have the pace to outrun anyone? And will anyone else get a sandwich at the Milan buffet table?

In other news, Michel Platini becomes UEFA supremo. Good news or bad? On the one hand he has spoken some sense about football. On the other hand, he is French and an ex-Juventino. Watch out for a new law allowing the Serie B champions to play in the Champions League.

The last temptation of Totti

There were a few talking points arising out of this weekend's Serie A treats but none more so than Francesco Totti's expulsion from the Livorno v Roma game. Having helped his team fight back from a dodgy penalty behind he then laid his hands on Fabio Galante and saw red. It wasn't much of a push, especially compared to what followed when he clobbered his own personal trainer! He does get singled out for "the treatment" from defenders but still this will have confirmed his hot-head reputation in many people's eyes.

Elsewhere, Inter outclassed Fiorentina in the Meazza. The Viola went in with a far-too-defensive mindset and even when they went ahead it was only a matter of time before the Nerazzurri overwhelmed them. I think it is always a managerial admission of failure when you have to make a substitution before half time. Off came Liverani and on came Pazzini in a clear indication that the initial line-up had been too cagey. A dubious goal that barely crossed the line gave Inter the comfort they craved but it was a disappointing Florentine display.

Finally, Lazio and Milan dished up a drab affair in the Stadio Olimpico. The Biancocelesti were too well organised for the Rossoneri to break down and they rarely looked dangerous. Kaka was very subdued indeed. There might be a lesson - and encouragement - there for Milan's upcoming Champions League opponents.

Grazie Mantova!

You know those things that you don't experience for a long time and wonder if they will still feel the same when you do? Those matters that give you great pleasure and are all the sweeter because they don't happen all that often? Well, the weekend furnished me with one of those - Juve got beat by Mantova (what did you think I was talking about?).

I had pondered whether relegation to Serie B might make the Bianconeri more endearing. Their humbling during Calciopoli might have made them less dislikeable. Indeed, their new faith in young Italian players could even have prompted me to consider them a role model for other sides. But, instead, no. It felt great to watch them lose.

No doubt they will still get promoted but it's just nice to see them taken down a peg or two. At the winter break the papers were all full of "Who will Juve sign WHEN they return to Serie A?" stories. Now, if there is one thing Serie B does not like it is arrogance from big teams. So it was fitting that little Mantova kicked the Bianconeri in the balls. They bounced back, of course, against Cesena. But still, it was fun to see them get beat again.

Why I love Serie A

I always knew he was a crackpot but just the same, it is fine to see Livorno President Aldo Spinelli in top form. Not content with firing his Coach Daniele Arrigoni after the 5-1 defeat by Atalanta, he has now got it in for his best players too. Check out his bile for goalkeeper Marco Amelia who spoke up in the manager's defence.

"Amelia loves the sound of his own voice - like all Romans," he ranted. "I hope we can sell him as soon as possible.

"As for Lucarelli, he is our captain, but if the team wanted to save their manager they should have played better."

I can remember Spinelli from his Genoa days and he seems to be getting more barmy with age. In recent times, of course, he effectively pushed Roberto Donadoni out the door when Livorno were flying high. Earlier this season he "dissed" the UEFA Cup by saying it was a pain and hoped his team was out of it soon.

It is this kind of oddball activity which makes Serie A such a loveable spectacle. Even in a predictable season like this (see below) you still have the likes of Spinelli, Cellino and Zamparini to liven things up every so often.

Stop press: Incredibly, player power appears to have worked and Arrigoni retained his post thanks to pressure from Lucarelli. Truly amazing!

Hand over the title

I watched Inter overcome Torino on Saturday night and thought they looked ominously strong. They bossed the midfield in some style and took the lead deservedly. When Torino managed an equaliser they went straight up the field and scored again. It was all ruthlessly efficient.

Then on Sunday afternoon Roma ended up dropping another two points at Messina. A bit of a foolish tackle by Christian Chivu gave the home team their penalty to snatch a draw. The end result is Inter even further clear with nobody capable of holding them. Serie A, which used to be one of the more balanced leagues, is in danger of becoming so one-sided it will fall over. Here's hoping for better next campaign.

I won't even mention Fiorentina, the match with Samp was one of the worst of the season.

Don Fabio's greatest challenge

Even in the great career of Fabio Capello he can scarcely have faced a tougher challenge. To transform Real Madrid from a bunch of gifted, skilful, overpaid, headless chickens into a winning football team. Think of all the ingredients working against him.

1) Being in Spain. The diffidence/hostility of La Liga towards all things Italian is the stuff of legend. They don't like to see one of their top teams being run by a man from the land of "catenaccio". Nonetheless, it needs a man of Capello's strength to solve the club's problems.

2) The Galacticos. The club seems to have been run for years as if by a primary school pupil. Buying up every player possible with no real concept of building a "team" or strengthening positions where you are weak. At least he has weeded out David "Becksy Boy" Beckham by the looks of it.

3) Antonio Cassano. Even the Don must have run out of patience with the boy from Bari. OK, he is the only manager so far to manage to tame him but just the same, he must drive him nuts.

4) Fan expectation. Real have been much more competitive this season but they have had a bad run of results of late. If he fails to deliver something this season just how much time will he be given? Probably not much.

I've got a lot of time for Fabio because he scored the first ever goal to beat England at Wembley AND he took over Sacchi's Milan and made them even better. If anyone can do the job, he can. If not, I hope he comes back home. We miss him.

It's been too long

This winter break is driving me nuts. Alright, I wouldn't go down the English route and play every couple of days but nearly three weeks without Serie A action is killing me. What to do of a Sunday afternoon? The lack of action and controversy is frustrating in the extreme.

I did, however, get the chance to settle down and watch the highlights of the summer once more. What a team the Azzurri were, what brilliant moments they gave us. I can only hope for more of the same once things get back under way. How many days until Sunday?

A festive quiz

How Calcio are you? In the spirit of those Christmas and New Year filler stories in the newspapers, here is my effort. Answer honestly please to discover just how Italian your approach to football is.

1) Your team is back in Europe after 20 years away. Do you:
a) Go to the ground two hours early to soak up the atmosphere?
b) Proudly prepare a "Siamo Tornati" banner?
c) Throw a firework on the pitch and get your ground banned for three matches?

2) Your side, aiming for a UEFA season, is in relegation trouble. Do you:
a) Start travelling to away games to give them the vital support they need?
b) Give them early vocal backing but jeer when they fall three goals behind again?
c) Organise a fans strike which leaves the stadium empty for half the match?


3) A star player for your bitter rivals loses a leg in a serious car crash. Do you:
a) Make a donation to his support fund in appreciation of his skills which rose above petty rivalry?
b) Wish the next derby game was next week?
c) Buy a "You Must Be Hopping Mad" flag?


4) Managing your favourites you find yourselves trailing 4-0 with a man sent off and 40 minutes to play. Do you:
a) Throw on another striker, might as well lose 8-0?
b) Shore up the midfield but keep one pacy front man in the hope of getting something?
c) Get as many defenders on as you can to limit the damage?


5) Installed as president you see your team flying high in an unexpected Champions League spot. Do you?
a) Put a little extra in the January transfer pot to help your manager build on his success?
b) Savour the moment as you know it will pass?
c) Sack the manager after he fails to beat Inter in the San Siro and put all your best players on the transfer list?


6) Working as a touchline reporter you watch the national team record a convincing 3-0 win over Brazil. Do you:
a) Congratulate the coach on his great achievement?
b) Ask the manager if he thought his team was capable of such a result?
c) Ask him why he didn't pick Totti?


7) Your team loses the derby 3-0. Do you:
a) Weep constantly for a month?
b) Curse your players for letting you down?
c) Blame it on the referee's decision not to give you a dodgy penalty in the 89th minute?


8) Jumping for a ball in midfield an opponent accidentally brushes your face with his pinky. Do you:
a) Play on, it never hurt a bit?
b) Flinch and warn him to watch his hands?
c) Fall to the ground writhing in agony, clutching your face and screaming in pain?


9) What is your favourite football food?
a) Pie and bovril?
b) Panino con prosciutto?
c) Pasta, steak, bottle of wine, coffee and grappa during three-hour post-match analysis?


10) Playing at a small provincial team you are at the centre of a bidding war from a number of big sides - including the one you have supported all your life. Do you:
a) Join your favourites, it's a dream come true?
b) Weigh up the financial and emotional advantages of each offer?
c) Sign for Inter, get a whopping signing-on fee and the Scudetto on a plate?

What your answers say about you...
Mostly A - Ma sei proprio inglese! You have a lot to learn about the levels of cynicism, pettiness and stupidity needed to follow Serie A.
Mostly B - Mica male. You are quite a balanced individual who loves their sport but not to excess.
Mostly C - Benvenuto al calcio! You are totally bonkers and would happily watch 38 replays from different angles of a controversial penalty decision in order to discuss the incident for another three hours. Welcome to the club.

An almost perfect Christmas

After moaning about the late goals, only fair to say Saturday was stupendous. Fiorentina drubbed Messina 4-0 with some cracking goals from Toni, Potenza, Liverani and Mutu. Celtic saw off Falkirk (might not have been the best game for Neil Lennon) and the mighty Queen of the South defeated Livingston to get of the bottom of division one.

A perfect way to go into Christmas, Queens safe (for the time being), Celtic miles clear and the Viola with maybe, just maybe a shot at Europe after starting off from minus 15!

Buon Natale to everyone...

The weekend of the late goal

Sometimes you get a weekend where things just go wrong for all the teams you take an interest in. How about this one?

Queen of the South in desperate need of the points to drag themselves off the bottom of Scottish Division One are leading 1-0 until the 88th minute. Then they lose a goal to Airdrie United which means they fail to leapfrog them in the table.

Then, Fiorentina lead Milan with minutes to go and are about to perform a similar leapfrog manoeuvre when Gilardino strikes back to keep us behind the Rossoneri.

Finally, Celtic are winning the Old Firm game (should have been two up, usual cast-iron penalty turned down) when a deflected shot gives Rangers a share of the spoils. Probably the least painful one given the gap at the top of the table but still...

Sometimes I wish games were 87 minutes long.

The crazy world of Berlusconi

Everyone knows that Silvio Berlusconi is prone to the odd crazy outburst but his latest tirade against dearly (very dearly, £30m) departed Sheva is positively cuckoo.

"He is his wife's puppy!" he howled, or words to that effect. "A real man and Milanista would never have done such a thing. In my house I'm in charge. Sheva, however, when his wife calls to send him under the bed, runs along like a puppy!"

I think we can probably rule out a return to Milan in January, then. Unless, of course, Mrs Shevchenko has other ideas and throws in a doggy biscuit to clinch the deal. "Here boy! Here boy!"

Mind you, based on the evidence (above) how many of us would actually blame old Sheva anyway?

Place your bets now please...

The time is almost nigh for our Italian trio - Inter, Milan and Roma - to find their fate in the Champions League. Only the Rossoneri go in as group winners and a whole host of interesting possibilities lie in store. Certainly, there are very few easy draws out there.

The chances must be good of an Anglo-Italian clash with a Italo-Scottish clash not off the agenda as Milan v Celtic is a possibility. Who would we like to get? Who would we like to avoid? I would settle for the following...

Roma v Liverpool, Inter v Arsenal, Porto v Milan, Celtic v Valencia, Barcelona v Man Utd, Real Madrid v Chelsea, Lille v Bayern Munich, PSV v Lyon. Or something like that if it is possible. How many do you reckon out of eight?

Incredible at the Olimpico

I can honestly say if you had told me after half an hour of the Rome derby that Lazio would win 3-0 I would have thought you were having a laugh. So much so that I even risked a few hard earned pounds on a Giallorosso triumph. They were passing the ball well, creating chances - it looked only a matter of time until they went ahead.

Then Cristian Ledesma struck a thunderbolt shot that gave Lazio the lead and the whole Roma edifice seemed to crumble. A blunder from the ridiculous Phillipe Mexes helped to gift a penalty. Then the dubious decision to send on Vucinic (what has Montella done to be ignored in his favour?) and throw caution to the wind left gaping gaps in the Roma defence. It could have been an even heavier defeat in the end, which seemed impossible given the class gulf between the sides.

The result puts Lazio in the running for a Champions League spot while just about killing off Roma's Scudetto hopes. That's a shame as I would like to see somebody put some pressure on Inter. But it looks like they are too powerful for anybody to seriously challenge. I never thought I would be saying that about Inter.

Trains, rains and Luca Toni

Well, it turned out to be one of the strangest Sundays on record in my time tracking the Viola. Our first plan was that myself and my father would drive to Lucca, catch a train to Florence and watch the boys. Train strike, however, so no go on that front.

So, the day dawned and about 11am in our little Tuscan village base everything looked set fair. Until we set out on the car journey. With every passing mile the fog intensified and the rain got heavier. The conversation went something like this.

Dad: "This is awful."
Me: "Too true."
Dad: "Be even worse later on."
Me: "Too right!"
Dad: "Don't think I could face driving home in this."
Me: "Me neither."
Dad: "Will we just go to the Pozzo and have a slap-up lunch and watch it on telly?"
Sound of brakes as car turns around to head back to the heart of the Garfagnana.

So, we never made it to the game but ate and drank like lords instead. In our local bar some scemi wanted to watch Cagliari-Milan so we ended up in a friend's house just in time to see Toni strike. Happily, we didn't miss a classic but the three points were vital. As the night got even more miserable I think we realised we had made the right decision to stay put. And another cracking meal with a good bottle of red made the case all the more convincing.