The Lord spoke to Kaka

On the third day, the Lord spoke to Kaka. He saw his child was troubled, there had been much wailing and gnashing of teeth. He asked his son what it was that tormented him so.

Kaka explained his predicament, how he knew the difficulty of the rich man gaining access to heaven. How he feared that taking such a sum of money would constitute a sin. How he was unhappy to turn his back on his long-time friends.

The Lord considered all of this. He spent 40 days and 40 nights in the desert before returning to his troubled child. He handed him a tablet of stone with a simple message of what he had to do.

"Manchester City," it said. "Thou art having a laugh..."